It’s never too late to live life on your own terms.
Norma, a 90-year-old from northern Michigan, exemplified that lesson.
Just two days after her husband of 67 years died, Norma was diagnosed with an aggressive cancer. Treatment options were discussed, surgery, radiation and then chemo were recommended.
When asked how she’d like to proceed, Norma looked her doctor in the eye and said, “I’m 90-years-old and I’m hitting the road.”
Norma was not surprised by the diagnosis. A mass was discovered two weeks earlier. While waiting for test results, Norma informed her son, Tim, that she was not interested in any treatment that might prolong her life but would most assuredly diminish her quality of life. Tim fully supported her plan.
Norma wanted to live what was left of her life on her own terms.
Which is exactly what she did.
With Tim, his wife, and their poodle, Ringo, Norma chose to embark on a cross-country trip in a thirty-six-foot motor home. Their 57-stop tour took them from Bar Harbor, Maine to the Baja California Peninsula in Mexico.
The book, Driving Miss Norma, chronicles their journey. It’s a far less a travel log than a story of living in the moment and embracing life even in the face of advanced illness. Expect more laughter than tears if you read it.
Norma’s story has captured the hearts and gained the attention of many.
With Norma’s permission, her daughter-in-law chronicled their journey via Facebook. Thousands of people followed their trip, gleaning hope and inspiration from Norma’s determination to live her life to the fullest to the end.
Eric Schneidewind, president of AARP says “What a legacy Miss Norma has left us! Too often, when advanced illness strikes, patients and their families feel like powerless spectators. Too often, their wishes are not honored or even known. Miss Norma made her wishes known, and they were honored. Each of us deserved such a happy ending”
Having conversations long before an illness or accident is important. It allows for time to clarify your values, beliefs and preferences for future care and to communicate that to others.
Unfortunately, most people delay or completely avoid talking with family or their health care professionals about what kind of care – what kind of life — they would want in case of a serious illness or accident. Often leaving others to guess during a time of crisis what kind of care their loved one would want.
Even though advance directives, the document that outlines ones wishes, have been promoted by health professionals for nearly 50 years, only about a third of U.S. adults have them, according to a recent study published by Health Affairs.
There’s an effort to change that in our community.
Called “Speak for Yourself, Plan Your Care”, the effort is aimed at making our community one that proactively supports ongoing positive conversations about each individual’s health care wishes. The program is based on the model developed by Bud Hammes and Gunderson Healthcare Network in LaCrosse, Wisconsin. After years of excruciating conversations with families, trying to help them determine what their loved one would want during a crisis, Bud Hammes, a medical ethicist, decided to spearhead a change.
Because of the effort, 97 percent of the people who die in LaCrosse, Wisconsin now have an advance directive in place, and have made their wishes known. By normalizing the conversation, they are making sure people stay in control of their own care, even if they can’t speak for themselves.
The local effort, a partnership of many organizations led by Caring Circle of Lakeland, aims to replicate those results in our community.
The Speak for Yourself, Plan Your Care program is based upon the premise that effective advance care planning is a process of communication that helps individuals: • Understand their choices for future health care • Reflect on personal goals, values, and religious or cultural beliefs • Talk to physicians, healthcare agents, and other loved ones as needed
Melinda Gruber, CEO at Lakeland’s Caring Circle says, “It is much better to have these conversations early, when we’re in good health, so our families are not left trying to figure out what we would have wanted during a crisis. It really is a gift to our families to have this in place long before it’s needed.”
Whether, like Norma, you would choose to forego curative treatment and opt for comfort care or would choose all possible treatment options, it’s never too early to speak for yourself and plan your care.
For more information about advance care planning or to schedule an appointment to learn how to begin to have those conversations, call (269) 429-7100 or visit www.caring-circle.org/planyourcare.