Grandparenting is maybe the best thing that ever happened to me. I am so crazy in love with my three grandchildren. Any moment I have with any of them is a treasure I hold very dear.
The youngest is 4, and the oldest is 12, so the activities we choose to do with each of them are very different. We can pick and choose, which makes each time personal to us and to them. We have taken the 12-year-old to major league baseball games, where she knows players’ names and pays attention to every play. We’ve also taken her to theatre productions, and we even trade books with her.
The 6-year-old is a wonderful overnight guest, and we’ve taken her on a few camping weekends. We play cards and other games, and she’s so much fun.
The 4-year-old is another story. He’s a firecracker, and very fast! If we have him for a sleepover, we make sure we put a bell on the front door so we would wake up if he decided to go for a walk at 2AM. He is also a total sweetheart, and my heart melts whenever he’s around. I look forward to the time when we can take him camping and other things where we’re pretty sure we can corral him.
I’m glad I had my children when I was (relatively) young. Now, if we have any of the grandkids for even half a day sometimes, we get tired very quickly.
I know many grandparents who do all of the above, and much more, 24 hours a day, 365 days a year.
The phenomenon of grandparents and other relatives raising children is not new. However, the number of children being raised by someone other than a parent has increased dramatically over the last 25 years, according to an article published by Illinois Department on Aging, 2020, [2010 American Community Survey 1-Year Estimate, U.S. Census Bureau]
Nationally, 5.7 million children under the age of 18 are living in grandparent headed households. Factors contributing to the growing number of grandparents raising grandchildren include: alcohol and drug abuse; neglect, abuse, and abandonment; military deployment; poverty; parental incarceration; teen pregnancy, and others.
The stress of caring for children can be overwhelming, especially if the
caregivers are older or dealing with personal health problems. Many of these
children suffer from severe physical, emotional and behavioral problems which
make caregiving difficult.
These amazing relative caregivers provide stability and permanence for children, often without extended family or community support. They have stepped forward to care for children whose own parents are unable or unwilling to do so – often at tremendous personal sacrifice. Respite care is often either unaffordable or non-existent. Since many of these children suffer from emotional, behavioral, and physical problems, relatives can be reluctant to leave them in the care of others who may not have the experience dealing with physical or behavioral problems. Their peers may not understand why they have taken on this responsibility. They often can no longer enjoy or sometimes afford to do things socially. The support system is often not there or inadequate at best, and caregivers can be very isolated. Respite care is vital in strengthening the family, preventing abuse, and supporting the efforts of caregivers.
At the Region IV Area Agency on Aging, we have a Grandparents Raising Grandchildren program from which we provide resources to many relative caregivers. If you or someone you know is in this situation, please consider directing them to us. We don’t have all the answers but will do our best to assist.
Please call us at 800-442-2803 if we might be able to help you navigate through some of the hard issues. We want to support you, however possible, so you can spend more of your time simply enjoying your grandchildren.