Thanksgiving has always been my favorite holiday meal to cook. Everything is from scratch, and the house smells amazing for days.
My husband always rolls his eyes as I dig into the freezer at the store to find the biggest turkey available. I love leftovers, turkey sandwiches, and we always freeze some for soup.
My kids and grandkids look forward to this day. We eat way too much, and then sprawl out in the living room to watch football, and maybe take a nap. Sometimes we’ll even play some card games. I smile when I think of my whole gang spread out everywhere. It’s always a great day.
Fast-forward to 2020. Until a couple weeks ago, all systems were “go” for our traditional Thanksgiving. Then we were all reminded there’s a virus out there. We had to come to terms with the fact that this Thanksgiving needed to look a little different.
Even the things we were doing that we thought would be OK we had to scale back. For the last couple months, I’ve had each of my granddaughters over once a week, separately. They can do their class work here, I get to enjoy their company, and my daughter gets a bit of a break.
Last weekend, I told my daughter we’re going to pause those visits for a while, and that we would not have our traditional Thanksgiving Day together.
My kids know that is the right decision, but that doesn’t make it any easier. I know we’ll make up the time later, but still my heart hurts.
It’s time for all of us to tighten our circles.
In an effort to stop feeling sorry for myself, I started thinking about alternatives to our tradition.
One thing I think is important for all of us, as we head into the holidays, is to change our expectations a bit. Maybe instead of turkey and all the trimmings, a couple of Cornish hens and a great salad. Donate money that you would have spent on the big dinner to a homeless shelter or use it to buy winter gear for those who can’t afford it.
Think about what you can do, rather than what you can’t.
Research the food pantries in your area. Make a list of what they need. Make a plan to drop off shelf-stable foods to a couple of them or donating money. Our family will be doing that before the holidays, and then again in January when supplies seem to dwindle.
Don’t forget the dogs and cats. Shelters struggle year-round with having enough provisions for the animals, but particularly this time of year. You can have items shipped directly if you’re not comfortable going in person.
Maybe plan a virtual dinner. Send everyone the same tablecloth so it “looks” like you are all sitting down to the same table. Exchange recipes so everyone can start learning the traditional dishes of the family. Have everyone find a picture from a holiday in the past and tell a story about it.
However you choose to celebrate, it can still feel like a holiday because you get to see the people you love the most. My husband and I will still be cooking turkey with all the trimmings! (I did mention how much I love leftovers!) We plan to video chat with all our kids and grands. I’ve been compiling silly jokes to share with the grandkids. They will love that.
Thanksgiving 2020 will be one to remember – not because of all the stuff we didn’t get to do, but because of all the things we did together as a family. And the fact that we made an effort to stay connected.
I remain thankful.