Independence and choice. Themes as central to the American way as the rights of life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
The ability to make decisions and have control over one’s own life is a universal theme. Nearly 90% of seniors say they want to continue living in their own homes as they age. Whether their preference is to live in their own home, with family or friends, in an assisted living facility or in another congregate care setting, I’ve yet to meet someone who does not want to be able to make their own decisions about how and where they will live as they age. However, when issues of physical or cognitive decline arise, who gets to make those choices? Who gets to decide who lives independently and who does not?
Challenges can come when and aging adults and their family or other care partners disagree about where and how seniors will live. Tensions can run high. Adult children often fear their parents are not safe to live alone. Aging adults often fear losing their independence and control of their destiny.
Area Agency on Aging receives thousands of calls each year. Many calls are from individuals and families grappling with how to navigate the confusing landscape of care options and the emotional landmines associated with making those choices.
Conversation, sooner rather than later, can be key. For older adults, express your wishes and explore your options. For family, friends, and other care partners, listen. If you have concerns, express them but follow the sage advice to “seek first to understand, then to be understood.” Discover the goals important to your aging loved one. Then you can explore options together and make a plan.
To assist families, raise awareness, and help the community explore this important topic, Twin City Players and the Area Agency on Aging (AAA) are partnering to present a live theatrical production of The Velocity of Autumn on January 31st at 1:00 PM at the Campus for Creative Aging.
Local talent, Carol Sizer and Bill Downey, star in The Velocity of Autumn, Eric Coble’s two-person Broadway play about an elderly woman who threatens to blow up her apartment rather than be sent to a care facility.
The play swirls around Carol Sizer as Alexandra, a 79-year-old artist at an impasse with her family over how she should spend her autumn years. In Alexandra’s corner are her wit, her volcanic passion, and the fact that she’s barricaded herself in her Brooklyn brownstone with enough Molotov cocktails to take out the block. But her children have their own secret weapon: estranged son Chris, played by Bill Downey, who returns after 20 years, crawls through Alexandra’s second-floor window and becomes the family’s unlikely mediator. No sooner are the words “Hi, Mom” uttered than the emotional bombs start detonating. The Velocity of Autumn is a wickedly funny and wonderfully touching discovery of the fragility and ferocity of life.
Alexandra has been a strong independent woman, is still physically capable and witty, resourceful enough to figure out how to make Molotov cocktails. Although Alexandra still has her wits about her, she’s all too aware that her body is failing and that her mind is not what it used to be. Her children also take notice and decide to put her into a care facility. It is then, Alexandra shuts herself inside her apartment. Throughout the 90-minute production, Alexandra is desperately trying to be heard by family.
While The Velocity of Autumn is technically a comedy, both mother and son have a sense of humor, it also depicts real and heartbreaking issues. It does a good job of representing how difficult it is, as health begins to deteriorate, for families and elders, and explores what loved ones should and should not do as they navigate the challenges of age, disability, and cognitive decline. The play is at least semi-autobiographical of the playwright.
The performance at the Campus for Creative Aging, 2900 Lakeview Ave. in St. Joseph, is sponsored by the Area Agency on Aging and begins at 1 PM. Tickets are free with a suggested donation of $10 to support aging services in southwest Michigan. Tickets can be reserved at www.bit.ly/AAAVelocityofAutumn or by calling Amy at 269- 982-7748.
AAA staff will be available for discussion and resource conversations after the performance for attendees who would like more information regarding elder care and other aging issues.