By Alexandra Newman
This summer we celebrated four years of owning our home.
In those four years, I learned the names of just four of my neighbors, five if you count a dog.
I spent countless hours outside on my front porch and in my garden, but only a handful of neighbors had stopped by to say hi. I’m just as much to blame, though, as I found myself avoiding eye contact with our new neighbor as they moved in. I thought, “I don’t want to bother them. I’ll introduce myself when they get settled.” Then several months went by.
People’s lives are busy. We’re working, spending limited free time doing chores, volunteering or attending church. We are caregivers for our children, our parents, our pets.
We also have the element of technology, and how sometimes it’s easier to engage with an episode of “Friends” you’ve seen dozens of times rather than your neighbors when you’ve spent the whole day engaging with people at work.
A few weeks ago, the neighbor’s kitty-corner from us hosted a Block Party. They knocked on our door, gave us a little flyer, and told us to stop by, even if it was just for a short time.
We did.
It took a lot of hyping ourselves up. I found myself more nervous than doing an outreach presentation or theater performance in front of hundreds of people. Something about the intimacy of your neighbors just made it different for some reason.
So, I took that confidence I have about my job and tried to apply it to this situation – if all else fails, talk about what you know: Area Agency on Aging.
It’s amazing how the Agency had touched nearly every one of our neighbors’ lives. The family who utilized us a few years ago when their mom was diagnosed with dementia, and the resident physician at the local hospital who refers patients to us. One of our neighbors is in a club that meets at our offices once a month.
As I sat down to write this column, I wanted to look up the definition and history of the “Block Party.” Wikipedia, so kindly, has crowdsourced this information for us: A block party or street party is a party in which many members of a single community congregate, either to observe an event of some importance or simply for mutual solidarity and enjoyment.
What stuck out to me from that definition was the word solidarity because there was so much of it that evening.
Traffic is currently being detoured through our neighborhood due to a road closure, and we spent all evening yelling at cars that blew through the stop signs.
We lamented about the helicopters that land at the hospital and how it rattles the decorations on our shelves when they get a little too low.
We talked at length about the tree that fell in the street a few years ago, and the lady who, for a while, was pulling bark off all the trees.
I found myself thinking about just how much we have in common and how we never bothered to make those connections with each other.
Was it the pandemic? Is it the current state of national politics? Was it introverted-ness showing? Or is it just our busy lives?
I don’t have all the answers, but I am so glad we took advantage of the Block Party. We met people that might be able to cat sit for us. I helped someone with some information about Area Agency on Aging. And we let the family of the only kid in the neighborhood know that they could trust us to keep an eye out when she’s playing outside.
The next time you see your neighbor walking their dog or sitting on their porch, don’t just wave and keep going, stop and say, “hello!”
They could have the key to something you’ve been searching for: nonprofit resources, yard tools, a new club or church to join, a cat sitter.
Siloing ourselves in our homes is easy and safe, but I’ve come to see that it’s not always what we need. So, I pose the question: how are you building community?
Start a conversation with your family, friends and neighbors, or feel free to email me at alexandranewman@areaagencyonaging.org to let me know. Maybe I’ll feature your story in an upcoming column.
The Generations column appears each weekend in The Herald-Palladium.