Growing up – getting filthy in the creek, making snow forts in the front yard, playing kick the can with all the neighbor kids – I had a joyful and picturesque childhood. My parents took excellent care of me, not only providing for my needs, but going above and beyond to ensure I had great experiences and was set up for success in adulthood.
Throughout my childhood, the thought never occurred to me – one day I might be the person providing care and oversight to my parents – the ones who have watched over me for my entire life.
As I drive my parents to their appointments, keep track of important information, and help facilitate their care, the reality of this next chapter of life has started to sink in.
The last few years, both of my parents have been slowing down – my dad, in particular. To see the changes, you have to know my dad. My dad is an intelligent, creative, kind, hardworking adventurer.
He went to school to be a social worker, but later found that wasn’t his calling. He spent his days at LECO in the shipping department, but his true love was his pottery. My dad (whose name is Clay – I kid you not) is an avid potter. There’s a kiln and two wheels in his basement and zillions of creations over the years have blessed many people: mugs, bowls, lamps, candle lights – you name it, he’s made it.
My dad was an avid surfer! Yes, in Lake Michigan. Waves can get decently high when the wind hits just right. He’s also an enthusiastic bicyclist. And baker! I learned my love of baking from my dad. He makes the world’s best breads and cakes and pies. He is known for his famous Dutch apple pie – most of our friends and family have sampled it many times over the years.
It was when the pie started looking and tasting different that I knew something had shifted. Dad wasn’t remembering the recipe. He couldn’t follow the step-by-step instructions well. Same with his pottery. Nothing was firing right. Things weren’t the same.
Over time, we noticed other things – he was forgetting how to spell common words. He was calling my brother by my uncle’s name. He was quite simply just forgetting things. Not remembering. Not knowing.
These changes have been happening slowly – they started in 2019. The last few months, things seem to have been rapidly declining. We’ve been meeting with a knowledgeable and caring geriatric neuropsych doctor who has finally given the diagnosis we’ve been anxiously anticipating – dementia.
Dementia is a scary word. So much stigma and fear associated with it. So much unknown. But it doesn’t have to be that way! I know there is so much love for my dad – from me and my immediate family to friends and neighbors far and wide. People care. That caring makes a world of difference.
My family will move forward as best as we can – one step at a time. There is an incredible amount of unknown ahead of us. How quickly will this go? What will his care needs be? Which services and programs will we utilize? How do we best get connected?
We are so grateful for the resources, knowledge, and care that Region IV Area Agency has to offer, and we are excited for the new GUIDE Model, recently established! GUIDE is an acronym for “Guiding an Improved Dementia Experience”. It is a comprehensive plan that will increase coordination of and access to services – including respite care! Respite care provides much needed breaks to family caregivers. What a huge blessing that is and will be to so many families in our community. And potentially, one day, mine as well.
This new and exciting service greatly complements the agency’s goal of making Southwest Michigan a dementia friendly – and dementia inclusive – community. And I am so grateful for this community – for the people and places who care. Whether it be parents raising their kids to foster compassion, or kids providing that compassion to their parents. Or agencies like Region IV Area Agency providing a variety of resources, like the GUIDE Model. There are people and places who care all around you.
And if you, or someone you know, is walking the same journey that my family is – please reach out to our helpful staff at Region IV Area Agency on Aging by calling (800) 654-2810. Trained staff are awaiting your call and are eager to help.
Emily Marshall is a care manager/ social worker for the Region IV Area Agency on Aging in Southwest Michigan. Call the Info-Line for Aging & Disability at 800-6542810 or visit www.areaagencyon aging.org. The Generations column appears each weekend in The Herald-Palladium.