By Christine Vanlandingham
“I feel invisible. People don’t see me now.”
That quiet confession came from a woman I’ve long admired—an energetic, community-engaged retiree who once led local initiatives, mentored young professionals, and rarely missed a town hall meeting. She retired a few years ago, and though her calendar remains full, something has shifted. She’s not alone in feeling this way.
Across the country, many older adults are grappling with a creeping sense of invisibility—not just socially, but culturally and emotionally. It’s a phenomenon that’s gaining attention, and for good reason. It’s not just about being overlooked in a restaurant or ignored in a conversation. It’s about identity, dignity, and the human need to be seen.
A 2021 University of Michigan poll found that 56% of adults aged 50 to 80 reported feeling isolated during the pandemic. While some of that isolation has eased, the emotional residue lingers. Another study found that 43% of adults over 60 reported feeling lonely even before the pandemic. These aren’t just passing feelings—they’re linked to serious health risks, including increased chances of dementia, heart disease, and premature death.
But what’s behind this sense of invisibility?
Part of it is cultural. In a society that prizes youth, productivity, and speed, aging can feel like a slow fade into the background. Media portrayals of older adults often reduce them to stereotypes—frail, forgetful, or out of touch. Rarely do we see the vibrant, complex lives many older people lead: the 99-year-old who volunteers at Head Start, the 80-year-old who still teaches piano, the group of 90+ year-olds who just started a podcast titled “Ninety and Counting.”
Language plays a role too. Terms like “elderly” or “senior” can carry connotations of decline, even when they’re meant respectfully. In everyday interactions, older adults often find themselves talked over, dismissed, or simply ignored. As one article put it, “store clerks talk to your adult kids instead of you, or the waiter only looks at the younger people at the table.”
So how do we combat this?
First, we need to change the narrative. Aging is not a disappearance; it’s a continuation. It’s time we highlight the contributions, wisdom, and vitality of older adults in our communities. That means more inclusive media representation, intergenerational programs, and public spaces designed with all ages in mind.
Second, building connections is vital. Studies show social engagement reduces loneliness. Community centers, libraries, faith communities and local nonprofits unite people through shared programs. Technology can also connect individuals if it is user-friendly. The Campus for Creative Aging offers older adults classes, volunteer opportunities, and social engagement. Visit the campus website, follow on social media, or call 800-654-2810 to learn more.
Third, we must listen. Really listen. Whether it’s in a doctor’s office, a family gathering, or a town meeting, making space for older voices isn’t just respectful—it’s essential. These are people with decades of lived experience, insight, and resilience. Their stories matter.
Finally, we need to recognize that invisibility isn’t inevitable. It’s a societal choice—and one we can change. As individuals, we can start by making eye contact, asking questions, and valuing the presence of older adults in our lives. As a community, we can advocate for policies and practices that affirm their worth.
The woman who told me she felt invisible? She’s still showing up—at city council meetings, at the food pantry, at her granddaughter’s school plays. But she shouldn’t have to fight to be seen.
Let’s make sure she, and every older adult, knows they still matter. Because they do.
If you find yourself feeling invisible in the quiet crisis of aging in plain sight, know that you have the power to flip the script. Age out loud and bring your voice to the table. Your experiences, wisdom, and presence are invaluable, and you deserve to be seen and heard.
Here are a few ways to help yourself and others be seen:
- Be Vocal: Speak up in public forums, whether it’s in community meetings, social media, or casual conversations. Share your stories, insights, and opinions. Let the world know about the vibrant life you lead.
- Engage with Technology: Use technology to connect with others and amplify your voice. Join online groups, start a blog or podcast, and participate in virtual events. Make sure technology works for you, not against you.
- Find Community: Engage with community centers, libraries, and local nonprofits. Join classes, clubs, and volunteer opportunities. Interact with people of all ages and build meaningful connections.
- Advocate: Advocate for yourself and others. Push for inclusive policies and practices that recognize and affirm the worth of older adults. Encourage media representation that reflects the diversity and vitality of your age group.
- Embrace Your Identity: Celebrate your age and the journey you’ve been on. Reject stereotypes and negative connotations associated with aging. Be proud of who you are and what you have achieved.
- Support Each Other: Lift up fellow older adults. Share resources, offer support, and create a network of mutual empowerment. Together, you can make a significant impact.
Remember, you matter. Your voice is powerful. Age with pride and confidence, and let the world see the remarkable person you are.
Christine Vanlandingham is CEO of Region IV Area Agency on Aging in Southwest Michigan. Questions on age or independence services? Call the Info-Line for Aging & Disability at 800-654-2810 or visit areaagencyonaging.org. The Generations column appears each weekend in The Herald-Palladium.