In my December 2022 Generations column, I wrote about connecting the generations through shared experiences. But what about when that’s not possible? Whether it’s due to fractured family relationships, the death of a loved one, or simple geographic separation, the holidays can bring angst, sadness and even the onset or an increase in symptoms of depression.
If you’re feeling more ‘blue’ than ‘jolly’ as the holidays approach, here are some tips to make the season brighter.
Focus on giving kindness – Not all gifts carry a price tag. Make December a month of giving. Set out each day to give a gift of kindness. It could be a compliment to someone you meet or making eye contact with the worker at the grocery store, bank or restaurant and tell them how much you appreciate their service. Watch how faces light up when sincere appreciation is expressed. Keep a log! At the end of the month, reflect on your experience. How did you impact others, and how did a month of giving kindness impact you?
Focus on experiencing the season – Pack a thermos of hot chocolate and head out to a local tree farm. Even if you are not in the market for a Christmas tree, watching families on the hunt for the perfect tree can bring vicarious joy. If you’re mobile, stroll amongst the trees. Nature has it’s own healing properties. Most tree farms are pet friendly. Bring fido along for the stroll. If you know an older adult who has mobility challenges, bring them along. Sit in the car, sip hot cocoa and reminisce about their past holiday traditions.
Manage your expectations – If decorating for the holidays when you’re feeling more blue than jolly seems overwhelming, keep it small. Focus on one meaningful expression of the holiday. It could be a simple menorah, or a wreath and candles instead of a Christmas tree, or Kwanzaa candles and a simple meal with a friend or two.
Brighten someone’s day from the comfort of your own home – Volunteer Friendly Callers make weekly phone calls to local seniors at risk of social isolation and loneliness to provide companionship. During these calls you will provide reassurance and mostly make sure they are not feeling lonely or isolated. You’ll likely lift your own spirits in the process. Check out this and other volunteer opportunities at areaagencyonaging.org/volunteer-opportunities.
Prioritize service – Putting the focus on others can lift your mood. Consider volunteering this season. Several local non-profit organizations rely heavily on volunteers. Here are a few ideas:
- The Benton Harbor Soup kitchen maintains a list of willing volunteers they can tap when a need arises. Sign up at soupk.org/volunteer.
- The Salvation Army says even simple tasks like providing items for their pantry or helping ring bells at Christmas, change lives in our community for the better. Find out more about these opportunities and more at centralusa.salvationarmy.org/bentonharbor/volunteer.
- Deliver holiday joy to homebound seniors by volunteering to deliver care packages to local seniors. Find out more and sign up at areaagencyonaging.org/holiday-boxes.
- None of these opportunities strike your fancy? United Way maintains a broad spectrum of volunteer opportunities at volunteer.uwsm.org.
In addressing the holiday blues it’s important to focus on healthy habits and seek professional help if needed. If you’re experiencing feelings of hopelessness, don’t hesitate to reach out for help.
Not sure where to go?
Specialists at the National Alliance on Mental Illness can refer people to services for treatment and community support. The free hotline runs from 10 a.m. to 6 p.m. Monday through Friday at 800-950-6264.
A 24/7 option for assistance is the Crisis Text Line. The service connects people with a crisis counselor to help in the moment – any day of the week at any time of day. Text HOME to 741741 from anywhere in the U.S. for support.
Even if you’re not experiencing the blues this holiday season, many of the above tips will brighten the season for others and will likely make yours brighter as well.
Wishing you and yours a season of peace and moments of joy.
Christine Vanlandingham is CEO of Region IV Area Agency on Aging in Southwest Michigan. Questions on age or independence services? Call the Info-Line for Aging & Disability at 800-654-2810 or visit areaagencyonaging.org. The Generations column appears each weekend in The Herald-Palladium.