By Alexandra Newman
When “Mary”, 88, got married over 60 years ago, she moved to “the Thumb” and became a dairy farmer.
“Asking if we milked the cows is about the stupidest thing you could ask!” she exclaimed on a recent day at the assisted living facility where she lives in Buchanan.
I got the pleasure of meeting “Mary” (not her real name for privacy) when I shadowed a set of Area Agency on Aging care managers on a recent initial assessment.
Our team was assessing Mary to see if she qualifies for our MI Choice Waiver program. The program provides nursing home level of care to low-income individuals age 18+ in the setting of their choice.
For Mary, she would like that setting to be the memory care unit she’s been living in for the last five years. What’s changed now is that she needs the Waiver program to help pay for some of her care.
Mary was diagnosed with dementia in 2019 and was moved across the state into the facility just before the pandemic in 2020 to be closer to her daughters. She fills her days with her hobbies, like watching the flower bulbs come up and the birds on the feeders outside, cuddling her beloved pet cat, spending time with her daughters, and mending clothes.
“I had all the holes sewn up in this place within the first year,” she said.
Mary’s personality was front and center during her assessment. To a question about how frequently she showers, she answered, “You don’t come in from the bar and go to bed.”
She told the care managers that her biggest goal is to stay alive.
One of her daughters present during the assessment said her mother is her saving grace.
“Mom’s so easy going. We still do all the things she loves to do, we’ve just had to adapt them,” she said. For example, she and her sister each have a walker in their cars for when they come to pick Mary up.
Getting older means adapting to a lot of new things. Taking care of your parents. Living with a dementia diagnosis. Moving across the state to be closer to family.
It can mean navigating long-term care programs, life insurance spend-downs, guardians, and financial conservators.
For Mary, her family and many others, navigating these things can take time, energy and expertise they don’t have. And sometimes, funds they don’t have.
As I sat there during Mary’s assessment, I was reminded that a team of professionals at Area Agency on Aging are out there doing these assessments and trying to get families help every day.
They’re driving to homes of all shapes and sizes around the tri-county area to give people options. To give people hope.
I recently had a conversation with our long-term care ombudsman, whose job it is to advocate for people in long-term care facilities, and she said, “It is so rewarding to tell a resident that they can stay in their home and see the relief and peace of mind that gives them.”
That’s why we are constantly advocating for support for Area Agency on Aging programs, and that’s why we’re holding our 18th Annual Legislative Forum at 2 p.m. Monday, April 28 at the Campus for Creative Aging.
We’ll be speaking directly to our state legislators about programs like MI Choice Waiver, as well as support for home and community-based services and caregivers, and why they’re important to families like Mary’s. To learn more about the Legislative Forum and everything we do at Area Agency on Aging, visit www.areaagencyonaging.org/advocacy.