It seems the answer is often no. The new level of shouting on my Facebook feed has me running for the ‘back button’ or ‘close window button’ more quickly than ever. There are fewer genuine conversations than there are soliloquies in our public discourse. It’s so easy to shout at each other from a distance on electronic platforms.
So, it was a refreshing change today when I ventured into a conversation on religion with a colleague that resulted in genuine dialog. We don’t agree on everything. No surprise there. The only three people with whom I agree 100% of the time are me, myself and I.
The value of the conversation came both in the places where we agree and in those where we don’t. I value her heart in where her perspective diverges from mine.
If I only expose myself to the voices with which I totally agree, I will never grow. My thinking will never be challenged, enlightened, affirmed or deepened. I’ll be stuck. Or perhaps blown over when my perspectives and assumptions are tested and don’t hold up. My roots not having grown deep with objective and intentional examination and tending.
Religion doesn’t have to be the topic for this to be true. Public policy, social justice, age and generational differences can all be hot-button topics which, if not handled with care, can be ‘weaponized’ to wound rather than provide opportunities for deeper understanding.
Or they can be opportunities for us to draw strength from each other through our varied perspectives.
An example in intentional connectivity that leads to understanding is the Oasis housing complex recently announced in South Bend. Duplexes for older adults will be built adjacent to studio apartments for young adults aging out of Foster Care. In most cases, the youth and seniors come from vastly different life experiences and hold varied social and political perspectives. Despite these differences, they’re coming together to add value to each other’s lives.
Youth will be paired with senior mentors. They’ll have weekly meals together and scheduled times to chat. Seniors benefit from the social connectivity, from having their wisdom and life experience valued and will have their perspectives broadened by seeing the world through the eyes of youth who’ve experienced trauma.
Youth benefit from the caring community and social support of caring older adults with a long-view perspective of many decades of life experience and from having their own perspectives heard and valued. You can learn more about the effort at villagetovillageintl.com/special_projects/oasis.
Another local example is college students who are signing up in droves as Friendly Caller volunteers at the Area Agency on Aging. The students provide weekly social-support check-in calls to older adults who are suffering from social isolation and loneliness due to, or increased by, the pandemic.
One volunteer says, “We have wonderful conversations…[the older adult] loved learning I was a student at MSU and I enjoyed hearing about her hopes and wishes for Christmas. I also appreciate hearing that our weekly conversations have been meaningful to her.”
Many older adults who receive the weekly calls report depression, anxiety and/or loneliness levels are greatly reduced because of the regular conversations with the volunteers. You can learn more about this and other intergenerational programs at areaagencyonaging.org/volunteer-opportunities.
National experts point to the value and impact of these efforts to build connectivity across the generations. The National Resource Center for Engaging Older Adults reports combining the experience, wisdom, and fresh perspectives of people from all ages can improve lives and strengthen communities.
According to the National Resource Center, older adults who participate in intergenerational programs report: enhanced life satisfaction; larger social networks; improved health and greater well-being; better memory function; expanded learning and skills; and more. Youth who participate in intergenerational connectivity efforts report many of the same social, emotional and health benefits. Both groups point to increased understanding through connectivity and shared experience.
I read this morning that there are 14 religious holidays of various faiths from now until mid-January, many of them centered around themes of light and love. I didn’t fact check the number, but whether it’s ten, twenty or somewhere in between, the reality is that our friends, neighbors, colleagues, acquaintances and people across the age spectrum come into this season with varied perspectives and expectations. Let’s value the heart of their traditions, or lack thereof, find ways to enter into productive dialog and draw strength from each other – and perhaps gain greater understanding by seeking the view from someone with different life experience than our own.
Wishing you peace, joy and understanding this holiday season and in the new year.