“Life is 10% what happens to you and 90% how you react to it.”
A quote from one of my favorite authors and a theme prevalent in two conversations I had this week. The discussions were with two local women, one in her twenties, the other in her 90s.
The younger woman told me of a series of derogatory comments she recently received. The comments belittled some of her physical attributes. To say the comments were insensitive is a gross understatement.
When asked how she handled the hurt, she said “I choose to take what they see as ‘wrong’ or ‘different’ about me and embrace and love those attributes even more. Those attributes make me uniquely me. I refuse to let others’ negative thoughts or comments shape my opinion of myself. I won’t give them that control.”
She talked further about how she intentionally turns away from negativity and chooses instead to embrace the whole of who she is and works to shape a life she loves on her own terms.
Wise words from such a young soul.
The older woman talked of an upcoming move. With no family in the area, and no longer able to live independently, a move to another state where she will reside with a great-niece is imminent.
“I love my new home,” she said emphatically.
When asked about the specifics of the new community and home where she will live, she revealed she’s never been in the community and has never seen the house, not even in pictures.
“Nevertheless, I’ve made up my mind to love it, so I do. I need to move. I can’t stay in this house, so I choose to love my new home even before I get there,” she explained.
Preemptive contentment in the face of changing realities. A perspective that explained the peace she exudes even in the face of a major upheaval in her life.
These two ladies, though 70 years apart in age, have it nailed. Change happens. Hurts happen. How we react to it is key.
The pain of hurtful comments regarding differences in physical attributes, disabilities or changing realities that come with the frailty of age is real. To not acknowledge the pain of tough situations is not healthy. Neither is it healthy to linger in that hurt.
To intentionally chose to embrace even the hard parts of life, and celebrate who and where you are at every stage of life, are key lessons I carried away from the chats with these two ladies.
Probing deeper with each of the women, I learned neither of them are solo acts. Both have tapped into people and resources that build them up and provide support in varied ways. Attitude will carry you a long way. Connecting with people, services and supports to meet emerging needs or challenging situations is what creating – and being — a healthy community is all about. A core value and role of the Area Agency on Aging.
If you or a loved one face challenging issues of age of disability, know that you don’t need to be a solo act either. The Area Agency on Aging has aging and disability professionals on hand to listen to your unique situation and talk about your goals and needs. They’ll connect you to information, services, supports and resources to help you live your best life in the setting of your choice. You can reach them by calling the Info-Line for Aging and Disability at (800) 654-2408.