By Alexandra Newman
“We start off life and it follows a predictable, developmental sequence. We don’t think about the probability that we’ll become caregivers.”
That was a quote that stuck with me from a Community Conversation about caregiving that was held last month at the South Haven Center for the Arts.
As part of the Care and Window to Our World Exhibits, which are on display through today, Area Agency on Aging & the Campus for Creative Aging invited a panel of local caregivers to speak about their diverse caregiving experiences.
Some spoke about caring for their aging parents, and others shared their experiences working as a professional caregiver to both older adults and adults with disabilities.
What I took away from the conversation was how we will all have a caregiving story to tell at some point in our lives, and that no two caregiving journeys are the same.
When asked about misconceptions of caregiving – that’s one thing all of the panelists touched on – just because you’ve been a caregiver, doesn’t mean you know what another one is going through.
“You end up doing everything from finances to the drug store, to food, to advocating at doctor’s appointments and various facilities. Being there physically as well as emotionally. It was exhausting. It was gut-wrenching,” one panelist said. “But there were some really good moments too. My mom gave really good hugs. That didn’t stop.”
I sat there thinking about my grandma caring for my grandpa in his final months in 2024 and how whenever I came to visit I’d try to take some of the burden off of my grandma. I’d sit with my grandpa so she could finally shower – something she hadn’t done in several days. I’d run to the kitchen to grab something to give her knees a break.
It wasn’t until several months in we realized the toll it had really taken on her. She got sick around the time he passed away and she never got back up to 100% and passed away within eight months.
That story was common among the panelists too – parents passing within a short time of each other or the caregiver even passing before the person they’re caring for.
The family caregivers I know pour their hearts into making sure their person is cared for to the absolute best of their ability and they deserve our support as a society.
It is estimated that 1.73 million Michiganians provide an estimated 1.1 billion hours of voluntary care worth approximately $19.6 billion per year and are the largest source of long-term services and supports in the country.
That’s why Area Agency on Aging is leading local awareness and advocacy efforts around the topic of family caregiving. As the average age of our population trends older, families will continue to provide most of the care their loved ones need. So how do we help with some of that burden?
Several of the panelists and community members discussed the need for additional training resources for family caregivers to know how to care for their loved ones. Area Agency on Aging has many of those resources, like Trualta, our online caregiving training platform, available to caregivers 24/7 to read articles, watch videos, and attend virtual support groups and classes.
We offer support groups for all types of caregivers, as well as connection to resources like respite care. AAA is also working to develop a training space where family caregivers can get hands-on training on topics like how to lift and reposition their loved ones safely.
A challenge we face is getting family caregivers to identify themselves as such.
I think of the adage, you can lead a horse to water, but you can’t force them to drink. We’re having trouble even finding the horses because they think of themselves as an entirely different animal.
You call it, “taking grandma to the doctor.” We call it caregiving. You call it, “making meals for my friend.” We call it caregiving. You call it, “reminding my husband to take his pills.” We call it caregiving.
“You save throughout your lifetime. You do your financial planning. You try, if you have the resources, to be ready. But studies show that even with so much planning and resources, so much of the caregiving still falls on family members.”
If you or someone you know needs support in their caregiving journey, call the Info-Line for Aging & Disability at 800-654-2810.
The Generations column appears each weekend in The Herald-Palladium.