By Alexandra Newman
When I was in my senior year of high school, I had headaches almost every single day.
It is clear looking back on it that I wasn’t taking care of myself, but “self-care” wasn’t something I knew about. Stuff had to get done.
I had homework and community college courses, I had show choir rehearsal three days a week, I had to write scholarship application essays, and I worked two jobs to save money for a laptop. I also had chores, time with friends, and other family obligations.
I was “on” almost every single day from when my alarm went off at 5:45 a.m. to when I got home from one of my jobs around 10 p.m.
That was just my experience based on the things I chose to do. Some of my friends didn’t have to work. Some lived really close to the school and could roll out of bed right before the bell rang at 7:15 a.m. Others didn’t get involved in extra curriculars.
Now, I recognize that I’m just a person who likes to stay busy; I like to be involved and “in-the-know;” and I like to be someone people can depend on. I could probably change my last name to “Yesman.”
Over the last few years, I’ve been learning how to say,” no.” It’s hard, and feels unnatural and, frankly, kind of icky sometimes. But I’m learning that life is a balance.
We must balance the things we want to do and the things we must do. We have to carefully weigh the expectations of others and what we’re capable of. We can’t ignore what our bodies are telling us, but sometimes we have to push through even when it’s uncomfortable.
When I’m having one of those long days now, because I’ve stretched myself a little too thin with volunteering, or I have an important deadline at work, I think about that 17/18-year-old whose head was bobbing up and down trying to keep her eyes open in U.S. Government class.
That girl didn’t know anything about balance. Now, I say no to anything that is going to take away from my solid 9 hours of nightly rest.
When I think about the generations of people who came before me and, now, after me, I wonder how they found and are finding their balance. Whether it’s literally balance, like I wrote about in last month’s column about Falls Prevention, or more of the spiritual harmony of life.
Some days it feels like I’ve cracked the code to that harmony. Other days I feel like I’m falling from a plane without a parachute. I think, maybe, that means I am finding my balance.
I meet a lot of different people when I’m in the community doing Outreach for Area Agency on Aging. I meet people who are carrying responsibilities for spouses, children, grandchildren, friends, and neighbors, and I meet others who seem to have found their balance. I’m glad we’re able to be here for both.
Whether that’s helping to ease those responsibilities, or complimenting an already fulfilling life, we walk alongside people and ask them, “what’s important to you?” And we try our best to fulfil those wishes.
Whether you’re a “Noman,” a “Yesman” or a “Newman” you have a friend at Area Agency on Aging.
While I don’t get headaches nearly as often, it’s a good early warning sign that I need a rest. Life is going to continue to throw both hard challenges and fun opportunities in our way, and we’ll have to figure out how to balance both.
The Generations column appears each weekend in The Herald-Palladium.